The Age of Narcissism
To people on the left, Donald Trump is a classic narcissist who repeatedly demonstrates that nothing or no one–whether the institutions of democracy, the established Republican party, or those who have pledged their fealty to him (including his own family) is more important than his egoistic drive to be in control and receive constant adulation from those around him. To those on the right, he is precisely the kind of disruptor that is necessary to bring the country back on track after it has veered dangerously off-course.
This is not a political polemic. Nor do I wish to psycho-analyze Donald Trump. After all, I am a doctor, but not that kind of doctor (I have a Ph.D. in education!).
As a more general phenomena, what several commentators are noting is that we live in an age defined by ‘performative self-identity.’ To take it out of the realm of abstract jargon, we live in an age of narcissism–a time when all of us are inclined to be extremely focused on getting our needs met and at the same time, presenting ourselves–the performative aspect–as a kind of ‘brand’ to others that demonstrates ‘I’m living the good life.’ Not surprisingly, the political sphere–and that includes both sides of the isle–is infected with the same malady.
How so? Well, like a lot of big challenges facing us now, it did not happen overnight. Among the causal threads is a way of life focused on personal comfort. Science and technology have wrought us great material advantages, and the modern capitalist economy has been fine-tuned to the point where we can get pretty much whatever we want delivered to us with the click of a button and delivered to us–if not immediately (digital content like music, books and movies), then within a couple of days. The goal seems to be to get all or any of it delivered to us by drone within a day. Now that’s progress!
At the same time, social media is designed in such a way that ‘presentation of self’ becomes paramount. Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok are platforms where billions of people around the world are clamoring to be seen. Being entertaining or better yet, outrageous, is a way to get noticed. Is it any wonder then that more and more politicians of any ideology seem to be more inclined to energize a particular audience–part of their ‘personal brand’–than engage is statesman-like leadership that strengthens institutions and looks for ways to collaborate to get work done?
Again, my concern is not political or sociological. So what does all of this have to do with healing? A basic tenet of any holistic approach to well-being is ‘as without, so within.’ In other words, the broader context of how we live has very important consequences for us individually.
In a very fundamental way, ‘what ails us’ is the extreme focus on self. Modern life reinforces the importance of the individual ego. We become obsessed with getting what we want and we become more and more focused on looking good in the great digital town center. In the process, we lose track of the importance of our connection to each other, let alone our connection to the natural world beyond us. We forget that some of the most profound learning from life comes through sacrifice–putting off ‘what we want now’ for some greater goal: A benefit in the future (academic or career achievement, or a gift that will only be realized by future generations), or a benefit that can only be achieved through give and take with others (a love relationship, family, enduring friendship, community, etc.)
As many teachers and many traditions espouse, deep healing is about ‘letting go.’ To live a healthy, productive, and meaningful life, you have to begin looking beyond ‘Well, what do I want?’ For the vast majority of us, that doesn’t mean the opposite extreme of living a life of forced poverty. It is nice to have a degree of comfort: Housing, good food, and even the diversion of entertainment. Similarly, as humans, we will always be dealing with our perpetually insecure ego-minds and the impulse to defend ourselves and ‘look good.’ But we can reach beyond these narcissistic concerns. Deep healing requires it. A commitment to a spiritual path requires it. Collectively speaking, it is the only way to get through the great challenges of our time.